1) Tell the Truth.
2) Don't exaggerate.
3) Be Consistent.
4) Use Peaceful Loving Language.
I have been ruminating on the first one all day since the service this morning, especially because of the elaboration Larry provided in a handout he gave us during his talk. It says the following:
"Tell the Truth. Tell the whole truth as factually as you can. If you're worried that the truth amy be hurtful, take the necessary time to share the information skillfully. Lying or fibbing undermines your credibility, is difficult to maintain and causes relationship stress."
Now, it's not that I am an untruthful person, to be sure. It's the exact opposite. I'm about as truthful as they come. More so, I sometimes blurt out the truth accidentally and quickly (not skillfully), when I'm not particular ready to share it. And I often have a burning passion to share the truth with people, whether it's what I feel to be the truth about something else, or whether it's simply the truth about how I feel...
The reason that the first element of loving speech is weighing on me is because I do occasionally commit what they call a "lie of omission." For an exact definition (courtesy of Google) "Also known as a continuing misrepresentation, a lie by omission occurs when an important fact is left out in order to foster a misconception. Lying by omission includes failures to correct preexisting misconceptions." I simply choose to stay silent sometimes when my heart screams out at me to say something very true that I'm not sure the other person will either understand, like, or accept. At times this can be extremely damaging to a relationship or interaction. At other times, the relationship and other person go unscathed by this behavior, and it is only me that is hurt by this behavior.
Of course, not all truth is relevant to discuss. Just because you wore the same socks two days in a row doesn't mean you have to tell everyone you encounter that day, unless of course they are making faces like something stinks and you suspect that they would appreciate an explanation.
But these three simple words "Tell the truth" and the elaboration that followed spoke to my heart today and stuck in my brain. I'm grateful for that experience because I know that it's a call to action. For one thing, I got an email over a week ago that I never responded to because I didn't know how to go about saying the truth to the other person. The truth would have been revealing and made me vulnerable. But I couldn't really think of anything else to say instead. As a result, I may have done damage to the connection (by neglecting to even respond at all), making the other person think that I'm just careless, although I've read the email numerous times. And furthermore I may have lost the opportunity to tell the truth to someone more open to it and see what results. So today, after reading the advice of Hanh and King, I responded to the email, opening with an apology for delay and proceeding to the truth of things, truth I'd been carefully avoiding acknowledging both to myself and to this other person.
 |
| Those are my shoulder pimples. Truth. |
That is just the start of my truth adventure...
but it is a good step for now.
Remember the wisdom of Stephen Colbert as well.
truth and 'truthiness' are two different things!
Don't be afraid to
say what is in your heart. The
truth will set you free.
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